What are the core deficits affecting the successful development of social relationships?

Core deficits

Based on my 20 years of evaluations and intervention with teens and adults, I see the following as core deficits impacting social development:

A reliance on static thinking and rote/scripted problem solving.

A search for invariant-static patterns and “right” answers when engaged in dynamic/fuzzy/grey area situations.

Confusion between subjective emotional states and statements of facts (e.g., “I feel really bored when I watch a Harry Potter movie” is treated as “I think 2 plus 2 is 5”).

A reliance on instrumental communication (using communication to achieve a non-personal goal or fulfill a rule).

The use of memorized phrases, scripts, and responses in situations that are inherently dynamic (open ended, unscripted, and improvised).

A narrow range of interest that is typically dominated by the desire to obtain static information, manipulate objects, and identify fixed patterns.

Excessive time spent acquiring objects, facts, and information that is static and follows stable patterns.

Fear of “outside the box” ideas or opinions.

Fear of uncertainty, whether it be cognitive, emotional, or social.

Controlling behaviors characterized by lectures, monologues, and criticism of differences in opinion and/or approaches to problem solving.

An inability to understand the meaning of information communicated over nonverbal “channels.”

An inability to use both verbal and nonverbal feedback in real time to make adjustments in social behavior.

An inability to use emotions to understand the motives, choices, and preferences of peers.

A lack of emotional self-awareness and accurate self-assessment

Deficits in conflict management, teamwork and collaboration.

A dependence on solitary recreational activities, particularly the use of computer database searches and video gaming.

How does GroupWorks West define progress?

Decrease in object-focused attention

Decrease in object-focused communication

Increase in peer orientation (rather than adult orientation)

Increase in sustained attention during group conversation and activities

 Interest in the unique attributes and backgrounds of peers

Increase in the capacity to remember needs, preferences, and ideas of peers

Increase in motivation to be part of a social group

Expecting friendships to be more pleasurable than solitary activities

Subordinating individual needs to the needs of groups

Increase in motivation to engage in recreational activities with peers within      their community

Increase in flexible and thought and behavior (adapting to change, creating options when problem solving, adopting new perspectives, improvising, compromise)

Increase in the capacity for collaboration and teamwork

Increase in self-awareness and empathy

 Increase in the capacity to accept and give honest, direct, and constructive feedback in social relationships

How does GroupWorks West achieves progress?

We run each group so that cognitive and emotional flexibility develop and become a source of competence and pleasure.

We describe problem-solving as a process of choosing from multiple options, many which are equally “good” or equally “bad.” Any conversation we have about social behavior and relationships is therefore focused on generating options and choices.

We emphasize the concept of “good enough” solutions as compared to “just right” solutions.

We limit the production of verbal communication, which is accomplished by decreasing prompting and asking closed ended questions. More than any other objective, we want to encourage mindful or thoughtful communication - or quality over quantity.

We increase mindful verbal responses by discouraging monologues or any form of one-way communication, especially the display of “inch wide, mile deep” knowledge. When a group member is engaging in a monologue, lecture, or static communication, we set a simple and firm limit, which communicates: “Think, think, think … before words.”

We emphasize communication that focuses on the expression of subjectivity -- of feelings, preferences, opinions, and hypotheses. In this type of communication, the intention is to convey meaning and build a bridge of understanding to another human being.

We engage in process oriented activities. We emphasize the “journey” rather than the “result” of group activities.

We prioritize relationships satisfaction over entertainment and rule governed behavioral goals. Our group culture supports the view group is a source of support, guidance, feedback, and pleasure. We run group in a manner that demonstrates respect for the capacity of each group member to openly share important parts of his life. When placed in environments where teens/adults are constantly being told how to behave, how to think, and what to believe, their capacity for emotional expression and connection is concealed and disrupted. However, when they are treated with respect and encouraged to relate their feelings, they are capable of engaging in meaningful group dialogue.

We encourage and provide direct, open, and honest feedback about behavior that occurs within group and behavior that occurs outside of group. We challenge group members to think about their behavior in terms of impact on others and how their behavior contributes to a meaningful life. As a result of this type of feedback, there are certainly instances during a group where there is friction and conflict, but it is precisely because there is friction and conflict that growth can happen.

We allow uncertainty and confusion to unfold during group and do not rush to provide answers. The majority of the teens and adults on the spectrum are fearful of uncertainty and anticipate adults will provide structure and instruction to remove uncertainty. We do not rescue group members from uncertainty, but rather help them sort through their options, however grey/fuzzy/illogical they may be.

We encourage “outside the box thinking.” We have conversations where we engage in thinking about different ways to approach problems that include innovation, improvisation and hypothesis creation. We acknowledge there isn’t a right answer and thus we have to learn to make our way through life making our "best guess."

We emphasize nonverbal communication. The teens and adults we work with depend on verbal communication or written communication, and thus are at a disadvantage in peer-based communication that uses multiple forms of nonverbal communication to impart meaning.

We strongly discourage dependence on computers and video gaming for recreation. The autistic mind is particularly ill suited to take advantage of technology. The potential to engage in endless loops of static research and gaming logic, only enhances the vulnerability of the autistic mind to engage in static thinking.

We strongly encourage the expansion of recreational interests. We consistently emphasize the importance of adding “flavor and color” to one's social/recreational life. This necessarily involves a decrease in dependence on technology.

We create an “object free” environment in order to decrease obstacles to attention. An office that is filled with objects of interest is an office that pulls attention away from the relationships in group. Our office is therefore simple, clean, lacking in toys, games, books, Lego, planes, trains, and, of course, technology.